Freaking Joel

Yesterday, I spent nine hours in a car with a triathlete.  I managed to leave the extended conversation ready to sign up for a triathlon on Smithville lake, which is completely insane considering I spend most of my nights baking, making friendship bracelets, and listening to spooky podcasts.  Joel is really persuasive.  

A night's sleep later, and I am back to being not entirely sold on a triathlon, but I am 100% on the idea of maybe not physically peaking at age 30 or letting my bone density get to the point where its indistinguishable from Scotch Brite.  In addition to a healthier diet, a decent program of weight training and cardio could benefit me.

My kid just asked why I looked dead inside.  The reasons is Tony Motherfucking Horton.  10 years ago, I got into the best shape of my life using the P90X program.  Even after all these years, through the fitness trends, through beach body on demand, cross fit, aaptiv running workouts, P90X remains on of the better training programs I have worked with, so here we are on P90X Lean, Day 1, Core Synergistics.

Synergistics isn't even a real word, guys, but we have bigger problems.  I got a stupid warm fuzzy from the demonstration crew of Pam and Drea and that one guy who is a dancer who shows up in a yoga.  I know he has a name.  I just never mange to be listening to Tony's bullshit rambling when he says it.  This team of old friends. let me reminisce briefly about the time in my life where I could do a real push-up, no modifiers, and not on my knees.  Which is not fucking today where I was all about knees, and even then, was shaking in the cool down trying to do downward dog.  Drea, the woman who looks vaguely like Rosamund Pike if she had traps like Micheal Phelps and who introduced us to the Drea Roll, had me all rose colored like I was looking at a fucking snowy wood cut of a Victorian Christmas.  This woman who used to illicit absolute rage.  What the fuck?  How soft am I getting in my old age?

At least I still hate Tony.  That guy talks like I move.  Constantly and poorly and in a way that makes everyone around me uncomfortable.  Any time he yells "SUPERMAN!  BANANA" I want to punch him in the throat.  

I missed you guys more than I missed half the knees in the Steam Engine.

Modifications:  Yes
Max Heart Rate:  162 or so says Garmin.   Personally, I think this is also bullshit, as I was clearly way closer to dying than 162 bpm.
Side Hip Raises:  12